The Trouble With Cats
by Nightfoot
Summary: Yuri hates Flynn's cat, which is just as well because she hates him, too.


This is my apology fic for writing so much Fluri angst without even making it explicitly Fluri. So here, have some Fluri fluff. Partial credit to Hoskky for batting around ideas of "but what if Flynn had a cat?"

* * *

**The Trouble With Cats**

They really needed to do something about this cat.

Yuri thought this often, but it was never clearer than the evenings he slept over with Flynn. He woke up in the middle of the night to the feeling of being watched. He looked to Flynn, who was fast asleep on his back. Yuri had somehow ended up sprawled out with one arm across Flynn's chest and a leg pressed tightly against his. This was ridiculous because Flynn's suite in the palace came with a king sized bed and there was more than enough room for Yuri to stretch out to his heart's content, but in his sleep he'd unconsciously edged toward Flynn.

Flynn wasn't his concern for now, though. He pulled his limbs away and raised his head to find the source of the unnerving feeling of being watched. He spotted it right away: two glowing eyes at the foot of the bed, staring at him like a predator.

After everything he'd gone through, Yuri hardly thought he would be frightened by a cat. This was no ordinary cat, though; she had a personal vendetta against him and Yuri happened to know Flynn had never clipped her claws. Why was she just staring at him like this? Had she been there all night? Watching? _Waiting?_ She seriously creeped him out.

"Hey, Flynn," he whispered, shaking Flynn's bare shoulder. Humans had not evolved to be the top of the food chain without developing an innate sense for when vicious clawed predators were seconds away from skinning them.

"Mm?" Flynn grunted without opening his eyes.

"Flynn, you got to do something about your cat." What was wrong with Repede? Yuri didn't understand why Flynn needed to get a cat. He'd found the darn thing on the street and he was such a softie he took her home with him. Yuri had never thought Flynn would turn into one of _those_ pet owners, but now he let her crawl all over him in his office and nap on his desk, and Yuri's protestations that she was a conniving hellion were always met with hurt eyes and "you just don't understand her". Frankly, Yuri was sick of it. He still had the claw marks on his hands from the last time he'd spent the night with Flynn, and he was never going to get to sleep with her staring at him like this.

"Go t'bed, Yuri," Flynn mumbled, rolling onto his side.

"I can't because your cat is freaking me out!"

Flynn frowned, though he didn't open his eyes yet. "You go to bed, too, Kat…"

That was another thing: the stupid name. Flynn insisted her real name was Katrina, but Yuri knew better. After taking the cat in off the street and letting her sit on his lap all day while working, Flynn went almost a week without naming the damn thing. He was so caught up in work that he never had time to sit down and think of a good name, so he'd just called her "cat" in the meantime. Yuri made fun of him for this one day, and Flynn indignantly insisted that that _was_ her name.

"Her name is Kat, with a 'K'," he'd said.

Yuri had rolled his eyes. "Sure it is. Admit it, you're just shitty at naming things."

"I am not. Her name is Katrina." Then he'd picked her up and pulled her against his chest, letting her rub her head against his chin. He looked down at her with a smile and said, "Isn't that right, Kat? Oh, yes, you're such a pretty girl…"

Yuri had asked if they wanted some alone time, and then left when Flynn glared at him and complained about having work to do.

"She's not leaving," Yuri said now, shaking Flynn's shoulder again.

Flynn groaned. "Then kick her off the bed," he mumbled.

"You know that doesn't work." He hadn't actually tried kicking her off the bed before, but kicking her off the couch was a useless endeavour.

Earlier this afternoon, Judith had dropped him off in Zaphias on their way back to Dahngrest. They had a few days before their next guild job, so Yuri was spending them with Flynn. They'd sat on the couch in the main room, talking about all the things they'd been up to since the last time they were able to get together. Over the afternoon they edged closer and closer together until Yuri's arm draped over the back of the couch and "accidentally" ended up around Flynn's shoulders.

This, of course, irritated Kat. She always got irritated when Yuri touched Flynn, or when Flynn showed any form of physical affection to any living being other than her. She'd hopped onto the couch and wriggled between them, demanding that Flynn pay attention to her instead. Flynn picked her up and set her on the floor with a quick, "Kat, no," but she immediately jumped back up again.

After ten minutes of trying to get cozy on the couch without the cat interrupting them, Yuri had lost his patience and shoved her away. She yowled and made a huge fuss, but Yuri knew she was fine. She'd landed on her feet and it wasn't like it was a long drop from the couch. She'd made such a fuss that Flynn got upset and crawled down to the floor to soothe her, shooting Yuri angry looks while fawning over his dumb cat.

Over Flynn's shoulder, Kat had given Yuri a look that could only be translated as "nyah nyah." Yuri stood up in defeat, gave up his hopes of making out on the couch, and went to start dinner.

He wasn't even going to try to get rid of her himself this time. "Flynn, get up. She's your dumb cat; you need to deal with her."

Flynn finally cracked his eyes open. "Yuri, just go to bed," he groaned. "Some of us have work in the morning."

"I told you, I can't! Your stupid cat is staring at me!"

He pointed at her furiously, and Flynn propped himself on one elbow to look to the foot of the bed. Kat lay curled on her side near Flynn's feet, for all the world looking like she'd been asleep for hours. Flynn frowned. "She's sleeping."

Yuri gaped at her. "She wasn't a second ago."

Flynn's head fell back to the pillows. "Sure. Just go to bed."

"But-"

"Goodnight, Yuri."

Flynn closed his eyes and pulled the sheet up to his chin, which Yuri thought was really rubbing salt in the wound. If he was going to ignore Yuri's problems, the least he could do was make sitting awake in terror of a cat more bearable. What was the point in sleeping shirtless if you covered yourself up?

Yuri looked back to Kat, who was no longer sleeping and once again staring straight at Yuri. He shuddered, and then lay back on the pillow. _It's just a dumb cat. _He closed his eyes and decided to try to sleep anyway. _Not like she's actually going to slit my throat_. He cracked one eye open and could have sworn he saw claws retract as Kat froze mid-pace toward him.

Yuri frowned, and then edged closer to Flynn in hope of protection. He bumped into him, and without opening his eyes, Flynn reached out and wrapped an arm across Yuri's chest. Yuri scooted closer and rolled on his side, pressing his back against Flynn's chest and letting Flynn drape his arm around him. Flynn would serve as a good human shield against any feline assassination attempts.

* * *

They spent the next day wandering around Zaphias. Flynn got up early and worked all morning so he could take the afternoon off, while Yuri hung out with Estelle until Flynn was ready to go. Yuri enjoyed getting out of the castle and seeing the city, both because he liked the fresh air and activity and because Kat was far away in Flynn's room and unable to bother them.

Not that her presence went entirely unnoticed.

"Oh, I should get this for Kat," Flynn said, pausingin front of a vendor and smiling at a stuffed mouse.

Yuri rolled his eyes. "Your cat doesn't need a stuffed animal, Flynn."

He pouted. "I think she'd like it."

"Yeah, and I'd like a bathtub full of chocolate. That doesn't mean I should get it."

Flynn ignored him and bought it anyway. "She needs a new toy since her last one was ripped up."

"Uh-huh. Let me guess: she's the one who ripped it up?"

"She was just playing," he said as they walked away.

Under his breath, Yuri muttered, "Practicing for me, more like…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"You should be happy, Yuri," Flynn said as they made their way through the public quarter. "She used to always sleep with her eggbear but since she broke it, she's been antsy at night. That may be why she bothered you in the night."

Yuri wanted to say, 'no, it's because your cat is some freakish hell spawn that would never have made it into the city if we still had barriers,' but he only had one more day with Flynn and didn't want to spend it arguing and then forcing himself to apologize for insulting Flynn's baby. He scowled and said, "Hope so."

Hours later, they were home. Kat seemed to appreciate the mouse, which Flynn aggravatingly started calling "Mousie". She disappeared, presumably to rip Mousie to shreds. They had a delicious dinner followed by an evening arguing over which Sunscreen Ranger from the comics they'd read as kids would win in a fight, until this passionate debate led them to the bedroom.

"The red one would kick the blue one's ass and you know it," Yuri muttered, impatiently tugging Flynn's pants down his waist.

"Ugh, did you even-" he paused to focus on untying Yuri's belt and then tossed it to the floor, "- read issue fifty-four?"

"That doesn't count." Yuri pushed Flynn against the bed and locked him in a kiss, cunningly using this distraction to both mute Flynn's argument and think of an excuse to defend his own point. Flynn ran his hand through Yuri's hair until they finally parted to draw air. He gazed into Flynn's eyes as they panted for breath and said, "Fifty-four was declared non-canon by the author two years after publication, don't you remember?"

Flynn grabbed Yuri's shirt and finished pulling it all the way off. He tossed it to the ground and grabbed Yuri's shoulders, pulling him close. He planted a kiss on the side of Yuri's neck while his arms wrapped around his back. He barely suppressed a moan as Yuri's hands slid down his chest and then he blurted, "Just because the storyline was ignored doesn't mean the powers and abilities displayed aren't still part of the character."

Yuri was about to push Flynn's pants the rest of the way off when he happened to glance to the side and spotted Kat sitting on the dresser. Yuri froze and met her eyes. As he watched, she carefully held Mousie in place with her paws, took the head in her mouth, and ripped it clean off. Yuri had received less obvious death threats from Zagi.

"Flynn."

"What?" Flynn said breathlessly.

"Your cat."

"She's certainly not getting involved in this."

"Look at her!"

Flynn turned his head, but Kat of course was now delicately licking her paws. "Is she bothering you?"

"I don't want her in here."

Flynn rolled her eyes. "She's just sitting there."

Kat looked back, staring at them with wide, glassy eyes. Flynn turned away and grabbed Yuri, pulling him into a kiss. Halfway through, he glanced back at her and the kiss fizzled out when he realized she was still staring. There was a long pause, and then he said, "You're right. This is creepy."

Fifteen minutes later, they stood sweaty and impatient in front of Estelle's door. Yuri had left his vest behind and Flynn's shirt wasn't tucked in. Kat purred gently in Flynn's arms.

Estelle opened her door, and her face lit up when she saw them. "Oh, hello! Do you need something?"

"Yes," Flynn said. "Would you mind looking after Kat tonight?"

"Hm? Of course, if you need me to. Are you two going out?"

"Er… no," Flynn said. "We'll be here. You can bring her back first thing in the morning if I haven't come to get her yet."

She looked confused. "Well if you're going to be here all night, why do you need me to watch her?"

"Because she's creepy," Yuri said. "She stares at us. We can't lock her out of the room, either, because then she just scratches the door and whines and Flynn can't stand hearing her cry."

"We just want some privacy," Flynn said. "She's a little distracting."

"Privacy for…?" She took in their dishevelled appearances and her sweet, innocent brain slowly clicked the pieces together. Yuri charted her progress by how red her cheeks were. "O-oh. Um… never mind."

Flynn seemed to be in a competition for who's face could go more red. "Yes. Well. Um." He shoved Kat in her arms. "If you would please watch her for tonight that would be most appreciated, thank you."

Estelle took the startled cat and held her snugly. "R-right. I'll watch her. Um… you boys uh… have… fun." She closed the door, her eyes wide with the horror of desperately unwanted knowledge.

As soon as it was closed, Yuri wrapped his arm around Flynn's waist. "So. Where were we?"

Flynn shoved him off. "Wait until we get back to my room, first."

They practically ran the entire way back.


End file.
